Pointers

Okay, so it's been a tough few months. As I type, sitting at my desk in my apartment in Hartford, I have hit a huge wall in my trichotillomania recovery. In order to better understand why, here's a quick recap of life since I left for STX:

STX: was absolutely amazing. Every single second of it. I wish we could've stayed longer, but the real world has to come back into play eventually. We can't spend every day in paradise, can we? While in STX, I did a lot of hair pulling as I would sit in bed and read at night. I was okay with it. I didn't let it bother me. I told myself over and over that there is nothing to be stressed about and that I needed to calm down. We made it home alive on new years day, after spending an ungodly amount of time in the San Juan airport.

Winter Break: was just terrible. Aside from STX, I barely did anything, which gave me plenty of time to sit, eat and pull. Oh, and pull I did. I was disgusted with myself the entire time but I couldn't find a way to stop.

Spring '10: The semester started off crazy - of course it did. And I began my attempts to stop pulling once again, after a successful few weeks at the end of last semester (yes, I may have relapsed but I still consider those few weeks where I didn't touch a hair on my head to be successful!)

Two weeks ago my sister's dog and I had a misunderstanding and he attacked me, sending me to the hospital with 11 puncture wounds to my right arm and hand (7 in my hand!). So that put me in a fun place because I was totally unable to use my right arm for a few days, and I still don't have all of my dexterity back. There are a lot of things I still can't do because of the wounds, but I'm healing pretty quickly.

Unfortunately, I don't have an excuse as to why what happened has happened. At the end of last semester I was proud of my progress but now I am facing a terrible empty spot on the back of my head. I can't even see it in the mirror! But when I do, I know it's bad news. I honestly don't know how it came to this again. I thought I was going to be done hiding all this!

SO.

Now I'm starting back up with my no-pull policy. I have to keep myself busy somehow. If you've got suggestions or pointers, leave a comment! I want this blog to be able to help everyone - not just me.